Due to the dreadful weather forecast Sports Day has had to be postponed. Everyone hopes that next week will provide the glorious sunshine that we've all been waiting for!
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In the meantime, it does allow for some extra practice for those parents with a competitive or sneaky disposition. Here are a few tips to bear in mind .....
How to score in the parents' races!
• Remember it's the winning that matters, not the taking part. If your idea of exercise is a stroll from the car, any chance of doing a Chariots of Fire impersonation is all in your head and should be kept there.
• Tucking billowing skirts into pants is never a good look, even if Princess Diana did it. Stripping off your suit to reveal a "just in case" shorts and vest combination is a bit scary, for all the wrong reasons. But just happening to be wearing your most comfortable shoes is fine.
• Don't be tempted to try a runner's start. You'll just look desperate - especially when you finish sixth.
• If you're over 40, you're going to pull a muscle unless you warm up beforehand. Surreptitious stretching is key; just don't let anyone realise when you're bending for your mobile you're actually trying to touch your toes.
• If you do pull a muscle, remember you won't get sympathy from your spouse.
• Jokingly grabbing the person next to you and hanging on for dear life is called cheating.
• Don't do an alpha-male bellow as you reach the finishing line. Mild-mannered mastery is so much more attractive.
• Don't casually mention your sporting prowess at school. That was a long time ago.
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